They say that happiness is not a result but a choice. Take it from Abraham Lincoln's "A person will be just about as happy as they make up their minds to be" or Marcus Aurelius's "Life is what your thoughts make it."
The same should, without any bias, applies to unhappiness. Is it really a choice? From when does the choice starts? Can choices inevitably become consequences? It would seem that choices are there in everything we do. From choosing to hit that snooze alarm button in the morning all the way to choosing to set the alarm time before we hit the sack. How can happiness be a choice when you choose to ignore the alarm and end up fighting with your siblings/housemates/roomates over who gets to use the bathroom next, end up encroaching on peak hours on the road and having to endure the bumper to bumper crawl traffic, missing the nearest parking space and inevitably late for work/appointment/meeting. Can you still choose to be happy after getting "the look" from your boss, "the bitching" from your subordinates and "the speech" from your next-cubicle neighbor?
Apparently motivators would argue that you can (doesn't necessarily mean that they believe so). How about people like me who doesn't believe in motivational books/speeches? We believe that the whole "choice" thingy, is a whole load of crap topped with generous vanilla icing. - totally indigestible and unacceptable.
We don't choose. We simply follow the flow of things. We follow the flow of life. To choose (and be able to choose) something against the natural flow of the inevitable would mean to be in denial. Let us not choose something, which we know deep down in our guts, that can't fit in right. Let us embrace the despair, frustration, angst, loneliness and woe, in view of letting it go once we find no use to dwell in it any further. To put it bluntly, stop bullshitting yourselves.
I am embracing it. I will eventually let go. But when? That I'll have to choose.
The same should, without any bias, applies to unhappiness. Is it really a choice? From when does the choice starts? Can choices inevitably become consequences? It would seem that choices are there in everything we do. From choosing to hit that snooze alarm button in the morning all the way to choosing to set the alarm time before we hit the sack. How can happiness be a choice when you choose to ignore the alarm and end up fighting with your siblings/housemates/roomates over who gets to use the bathroom next, end up encroaching on peak hours on the road and having to endure the bumper to bumper crawl traffic, missing the nearest parking space and inevitably late for work/appointment/meeting. Can you still choose to be happy after getting "the look" from your boss, "the bitching" from your subordinates and "the speech" from your next-cubicle neighbor?
Apparently motivators would argue that you can (doesn't necessarily mean that they believe so). How about people like me who doesn't believe in motivational books/speeches? We believe that the whole "choice" thingy, is a whole load of crap topped with generous vanilla icing. - totally indigestible and unacceptable.
We don't choose. We simply follow the flow of things. We follow the flow of life. To choose (and be able to choose) something against the natural flow of the inevitable would mean to be in denial. Let us not choose something, which we know deep down in our guts, that can't fit in right. Let us embrace the despair, frustration, angst, loneliness and woe, in view of letting it go once we find no use to dwell in it any further. To put it bluntly, stop bullshitting yourselves.
I am embracing it. I will eventually let go. But when? That I'll have to choose.
I agree about embracing frustation and pessimism as a natural process for human. I was once heard a good theory from Umberto Eco, who’d categorize people into three kinds (i kind of forgot the exact sentences, but here you go); The first one, the majority, are those who believe world is an optimistic place and decided to accept it optimistically. The second one are those who believe world as a tragic place and decided to accepted it pessimistically. And the third one are those who see world as a tragic place and decided to embrace it optimistically(or should i say parodically).. I’d say it’s silly to see world as a pure beautifull place full of laugh and optimism.. We can never run from the fact that world is a tragic place. We have a deadline for our existence in this universe, we recognize lies and cheating as the formula of an instant comfortness, we can never realy grasp the certainty of the future, and we can never run from conflict and troubles.. I’d say world is completely a sad place. Perhaps most people were just try to endure pain by making false images of happiness. They try to hide in the presence of uncertainty by reading some pattern and see it as an exact security.. They try build some secureness in faith, insurance, carrier, self-help books, and in hope of positive value like friendship or familly.. But the cycle keep going on, and we always lose something. It’s a prefference to be an optimist or a pessimist one. But the fact is world isnt a happy place.. To laugh on the face of the tragic means only one thing; that life is a comedic play..
ReplyDeleteDear daisy st patience, that was well said. May we be guided to find the best way to deal and adapt with the unhappiness and sadness part of life so that we can, as a consequence, be at peace with it.
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